Do you remember when?

Do you remember when Mom did this, or Dad did that, or when the dog….

Well no, I likely don’t, or at least not all of the stories.

I can’t help but feel like when my sister left this world she took some of our childhood memories with her when she went. Well, the memories I don’t remember. Can you even call those memories? More like some of our childhood moments. I’m left now with only the ones I can recall. It’s okay to be left with only my version of my life; but, half the fun of a sibling is laughing about the time Dad forgot you at the park, or reminiscing about your favourite family pet, and of course the “do you remember when’s..” that inevitably end in fits of laughter, and milk up the nose.

Now, I’m an only child — with none of the perks. I know what I had before was better. Her being here was better. Life was better — lighter.

I wish she was here. I often think maybe even she now wishes she was here. Did she even know how loved she was? Looking down on us now, she knows. I wish she knew when she was here. Sigh. If wishes could bring her back, she would have never left.

But…back to childhood memories. My version, her version, and the truth. That’s how it’s supposed to be. Somewhere we would find some common ground, and agree to disagree. Maybe. Fuck, she was impossible. Who am I kidding. We wouldn’t agree.

Come find me in my dreams, Sis. We can fight about it there, and you can remind me of the things I can’t remember.

Xo